Despite our best efforts at being proactive and avoiding
problems by practicing Choice Theory, Lead Management and/or
Quality School ideas and strategies, there will be times
when we will have conflicts or problems in our personal and
professional lives. Reality Therapy can help us help
ourselves or others gain more effective control over ourselves
in almost any situation.
Reality Therapy is a
method of counseling / problem-solving, based on Choice Theory
which is aimed at helping people gain more effective control
over their lives. It is an approach that has been proven
effective in counseling, parenting, education, leadership, and
management. Key components in the Reality Therapy process
involve helping people (ourselves included):
1. Take an honest
look at both what they want and
they are doing to get what they want.
2. Evaluate the
effectiveness of what they are doing.
3. Use this
self-evaluation as a springboard
can be used by individuals, by groups, even by organizations to
solve problems, to plan, and to improve. Below is a more
detailed explanation of the process of Reality
Process of Reality Therapy
A. Establish personal involvement - be
B. Clarify roles.
C. Provide a
physical and emotional safety and
D. Accept no excuses for
E. Avoid the past unless related to
present or source
punishing, criticizing, or protecting
G. Do not be overwhelmed by clients’
That Lead to Change
A. Help people
realize that all behavior, even painful behavior, is a
B. What do you want? (Help person
clarify his or her Quality World picture
C. What are you currently doing to get
D. Is what you are doing helping you get what you want
(now or in the long run)?
E. Would you like to try
F. Make a plan (SAMIC3*: simple,
attainable, measureable, immediate, consistent,
to). A do plan is best.
G. Get a commitment.
Follow-up. Never give up.
Understanding Reality Therapy, 1991)
practice is the key to mastering the skill of Reality
Therapy. Role playing with a partner or in a triad, with
one person playing the helper, one person the client, and
another to provide feedback, is the best way to practice.
1. A student is failing due to a lack of homework
2. An employee is chronically late
3. A friend is unhappy in his/her
4. A client wants to reduce the stress
in his/her life.
5. A friend hates his/her
6. A student disrupts the class with his/her
7. A colleague is
afraid to approach the boss about a
friend wants to lose weight.
9. A child can’t
seem to get ready for school on time.
10. A student
cheats on a quiz in your class.
11. An employee is
disappointed he or she did not get
the promotion he/she applied for.
12. A client wants to
13. An employee has trouble meeting
14. A student is failing because of low test
15. A friend has a chance to get an exciting new job,
has to move to get
it and doesn’t want to move.
Choose one of the above or make up a problem on your
own. Try to avoid problem-solving, and try to focus on
using the Reality Therapy Process. Remember, NEVER GIVE
Connection Choice Theory